Thoughts on State of this world I live in.......

Today, I am 51 years old, and I am not super smart, definitely not wealthy, and am not an expert on anything.   However, I have lived in this country in different states, different areas of different states, and have seen a lot more than most who remain in their own microcosm of what living their life in these United States looks like.

So, I decided it was past time to share some things that I have learned along the way.....

First of all, and possibly the most important, shaming another human being hurts all of us.  It hurts the person being shamed, it hurts the person doing the shaming, and it hurts all of us who didn't even see it happen, because the damage is a ripple that is much like a stone dropped into a pond, the ripples extend far and wide.  So if you see another human being and think that you can "change" them with shaming words, please pause.  For the good of all of us, take a moment and ask yourself, would you want someone to talk to you that way.  And most importantly, if you are saying these things to yourself, ask your community to help you learn how to stop.  If you need a community, ask, we can help you build one.

I have also learned that our microcosms are different.  I grew up in a world where guns were normal, and used for finding food, or for collecting.   They were to be cared for properly and were not toys but tools, just like a hoe was used in getting weeds out of the garden.  I grew up where dogs and cats, while they could be loved as pets, also served a purpose.  Quite often the dogs were for helping herd the animals where they needed to go, and cats were to keep the mice and rodents out of the barn.  In my microcosm, milking cows and drinking the milk was normal.  We ate cracked wheat for cereal, and ate loads of vegetables that came from our garden or our grandma's. 

There are people out there clammoring for humans to stop using wool, and animal fibers, and to "go vegan."  However, I cannot understand why these folks want to force the extinction of the domesticated and wild animals.   Why?   What did the sheep, goats, alpaca, llamas and yak do to you that you think that wearing plastic is better for the environment and better for these animals?  And since when is getting a hair cut for a domesticated animal wrong?   Before you attack something you know nothing about, go to a ranch, see how much work and love goes into these animals before you attack them for keeping breeds of animals going.   Before you attack a hand spinner or hand knitter or even a person wearing those products, learn where they come from.   And then, you might just thank them for all they do to keep these animals thriving in a world bent on erasing them.

Now from that microcosm, I left and joined the military.  I landed in the middle of the south.  And I met and found friends who grew up very differently.  I have seen how horrible they are treated every day.  They are not trusted by most, not because they earned the distrust, but because of how they look.  Just today, one of the managers who has never "checked in" on the agents, she came by regularly to see if a friend was at her desk working.   As if she was on a call, but not at her desk.  Another friend and I were outside last week on a break and an officer checked to make sure she wasn't bothering me.  Really?  I cannot imagine growing up in a world where you KNOW you will be stopped by an officer because of how you look.  I cannot imagine having to tell my child, "When you get stopped by the police, do whatever they ask...."  So while all these folks who grew up like I did are whining about "Black Lives Matter", those of us who have witnessed this microcosm get it.  We know our world needs to change.   We know that our world is in need of healing and change.   Where someone can live life without fear of being harmed, just because they look a certain way.

Now on that same topic....
I had a dear friend over 30 years ago, who lived in fear of people finding out that he lived with another man and had for 30 years.  Why?  Because at that time, he could go to prison, he would have lost his job, and so would his partner.  He did not live to see the change brought about by Ellen DeGeneres (she is one of my heroes for her courage and for her love of humanity).  I didn't understand back then, and I don't understand now, why people are angry about two people loving each other.  I will spend the rest of my life fighting to ensure every human is given the right to love and to live a loving life free of harm for being themselves.  So, if you are one of those people who "find it a sin" or "think it is wrong".... ask yourselves this one question -- where in Christ's teachings did it tell you to judge another, and when did he tell you to hate love?

And on the subject of love....
The hardest person to show love to is ME.  But I finally figured out, I have to do things to find joy in each day.  If I don't refill my own heart and soul, I become empty and that hole fills up with doubt, despair, self-loathing, and soon, suicide seems the only way out.  So... for me, the most important thing each day is to do something loving to myself - knit a little, read a book, take a walk, talk to a grandchild, spend time with my community, build new communities when relationships change - because we all change and grow in different directions.

My last observation is super important, and I am hopeful both sides of the fence on this subject listen up.  There are people saying that "if all women would vote, abortion laws would change".  I also hear, "stop letting men decide our fate."   However these voices come from their own microcosm.  So for those who choose to let their men determine how to think, what to wear, how to live, I do not judge you.  However, I do ask you, "How would you feel if the other women who are angry about the abortion laws fought to make it illegal for a man to make decisions in your home??"  To those who feel that men are responsible for these laws.... it required women and men to vote them in.  You cannot reach across the aisles and find common ground by attacking those who are different from you.   Instead, honor their choices, and ask that they honor yours.   This goes for any debate happening in our world today.  We need to pause, honor the other persons right to make their choices and ask for the same honor back.

Tunisian Crochet Winter Hat

PATTERN: Tunisian Crochet Winter Hat
Materials:  
Any yarn of your choice
Crochet hook (tunisian style) one size larger than yarn suggests


Helpful videos:  
Tunisian Simple Stitch:  http://youtu.be/1qXQExYThPE
Tunisian Purl Stitch: http://youtu.be/ZU958LNh1Mk
Huge thank you to Crochet Kim who taught me how to work both stitches!

chain to a length the size of hat (from crown to ears), add 1.5 to 2 more inches (as desired), plus two chains.


Row 1: tunisian purl each stitch
Row 2: tunisian purl each stitch
Row 3: tunisian simple stitch across
Row 4: tunisian simple stitch across


Repeat rows 1 through 4 until work is the diameter that goes around your head (or head of person the hat is for)
seam sides together using slip stitch if rows are even, sc if needed for spacing
weave yarn through the stitches at one end and pull tight, secure with a knot.   (Alternatively, you can braid yarn, weave it through the stitches at one end and make a hat that will also work as a cowl)
turn inside out,
fold the bottom 1.5 to 2 inches up for a brim.
if desired, add a pom pom to the top.

Hat Size Chart (but I strongly recommend you measure the head you are making the hat for, or have someone measure for you.
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/size-chart.html

A life after loss?

I get caught up in petty little concerns.  I get stressed out over bills and over plans that fall apart.  Life just seems so stressful.  And then I get a text message.  "Do you know what happened to Feike and his family?"

And all my concerns disappear as my heart shatters as it learns that a dear friend has lost his home, his cars, all of his belongings in a fire, but most painful, two of his five children were lost in the fire.

The beautiful angels, Zeph and Noah!

I can't imagine how one even breathes, but I know that living is super important for the three remaining children.  One of his infant children, Remmy, remains in the hospital in Salt Lake City due to injuries from the fire.

So, as I sit stunned and shocked, I wonder what can I do?  I spend hours trying to sort out what I can do to help.  And it occurs to me, a charity auction.  I can donate completed items, and I can donate some yarn.  I decide I can also ask others if they would like to help, or share about the charity auction.

So, I have a charity auction going on here:
Charity Auction for the Van Dijk Family

If you would like to donate just cash, please go here:
http://www.gofundme.com/bmvyfg

But I'm not stealing.....

http://www.arizonalawgroup.com/images/shoplifting[1].jpg

It would never occur to us to steal a loaf of bread, nor nail polish, but every single day, people steal and do not even think twice.   We steal when we copy a movie for a friend.  We steal when we copy a cd for a friend.  We steal when we copy patterns for friends.  In our minds, there is some disconnect.  We tell ourselves that we paid for the pattern we should be able to do with it what we like.  When we buy bread, we can share it with our friends, what is wrong with sharing a CD or a pattern?

Well here is what is wrong.  When you share the bread, some you eat, and some your friends eat.  The bread is a limited resource.  Now lets look at a music CD.  You play it for your friends when you are together.  AWESOME!  You shared your CD.   One of your friends loves it and asks for a copy.  You copy the CD for them.  Now, instead of going into the store and shoplifting the CD from the store, you stole it by making a copy for your friend.

It would never occur to us to copy a Rembrandt nor any other artist's painting.  We would see how wrong that is.  But we never consider it wrong to copy the fiber artist's patterns.  I am sad at how prevalent this behavior is.  It is not just a few that are doing this.  I see it in LYS (Local Yarn Shops), knitting groups, crochet groups, Facebook craft groups, and individuals.

So, now we know we are basically shoplifting, but we aren't taking any money from the store, so what is the problem?  Well lets look at the process it takes.   The designer (or songwriter or script writer) works hours often weeks and sometimes months or years, writing and rewriting, editing and refining their pattern (song or script).  The designer has individuals test the pattern to make sure there are no errors and that the instructions are clear.  The songwriter works with the publisher to find someone to record the song (or if the songwriter is also the singer, he finds a band to help him record his song).  The script writer takes the script to a find someone who wants to film it.  So, whether a pattern, a CD or a movie, hours and hours have gone into creating it.  Sometimes a lot of money has gone into creating the design, the cd or the movie.  At least one person makes their livelihood -- earns a living by writing these songs, or patterns, or movie scripts.  That is how that person feeds their family.  So when you copy it and give it to another, you took food off that person's table.  

Each time you copy something that is copywritten, you give away something that was not yours to give.  You become a thief.  And if you are using a stolen pattern (ie copied pattern) to make money, you have now become a fence.   So not only are you guilty of theft, but you are guilty of selling stolen property.

I was not going to say anything, but my heart is heavy.  I stopped selling patterns because of theft, and the large amount of people who sent nasty messages to me about how selling patterns was wrong and harmful.   They berated me.   Yet these same people had no idea how many hours are spent writing a pattern, and how many hours are spent working with testers, and how many hours are spent editing and adding photos to the pattern (and/or videos), just so the user has the best pattern possible.   I don't design like I used to.  My heart isn't in it.  But my husband is still a songwriter.  And I have hundreds of people I love and admire who make their living either writing patterns, or songs, or scripts.  It breaks my heart when I see such flagrant disregard for their work.  It breaks my heart when people think it is no big deal to steal from these hardworking individuals.

So, each time you choose to copy a pattern you bought, or ask a friend to copy a pattern they bought for you to use, you are saying that the designer's time, talent, efforts are worth stealing.  You are saying you don't mind being a thief.   And each time you copy music or movies you are saying that you don't mind stealing from the writers and everyone else involved.  You have no problem stealing.  I doubt this will change anyone's behaviors, but if it gets one person to reconsider their actions and stop, this is totally worth it.

What are your thoughts???

Photo Contest is live!

We have closed the entry process, and now it is time to vote.  You can vote by liking the photo posted in the Facebook album, https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.530165047029351.1073741833.207016299344229&type=3

Or you can vote by commenting below which of the following is your favorite.


In no particular order:

#1  Natasha from Yarntastic Creations

#2 Cj from The Fancy Hooker

#3 Crescendo Gal from Schmibble & Co.

#4 Lisa from I Crochet It

# 5 Cortnee Wenerowicz, from Hooked by Cortni

#6 Rachel from Raven's Rascals

#7 Stephenie from Crochet Creations by Steph

#8 Jackie by Hats and More by Jackie

Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes?

Rest in Peace!

I was raised on Country Music, when it definitely wasn't cool!  It was as much a part of my childhood as anything else, possibly the biggest part of my childhood.  My earliest memory isn't of people or things, it is me sitting on the floor between the two speakers of our stereo.  Conway Twitty was singing, "Play, Guitar Play".  Each time I hear that song I feel the stereo behind me and the floor below me.




In Junior High, other kids were listening to the 80s hits, and I was listening to Jockey Joe on the radio (56 KLZ radio out of Denver).   I tuned into a station out of Oklahoma late at night when I couldn't sleep.  Me and my transistor radio went everywhere together.  If I could have had it during class, I think I would have.  I love Hank Williams, Lefty Frizzel, Loretta Lynn.  It was all magical to me.

There was one very special song when I was small that I literally believed was sung specially for me.  And even though later I knew better, my heart always felt better when I heard it.  Tom T. Hall, where ever he may be, literally saved my life on so many occasions because he wrote, recorded and released, "I Care."  I have dreamt for years of saying, "Thank you."  But I just don't see that happening.  All of my friends who were there when the rest of the world shut me out, they are going.  Waylon Jennings, Conway Twitty, Johnny Cash, and today, George Jones have all left this world.   I never got to say thank you to any of them.  I cried so hard when Marty Robbins died.  I remember that day so clearly.  The tears though were 100 percent selfish.  I knew I would never be able to thank him personally for being there.  Today those same selfish tears are falling.

So, I decided to say "Thank you" the only way I knew I could.  I am a mother of two, a grandmother of almost 3, and married to the most amazing man on the planet.  However, 30 years ago, I began a preoccupation with suicide that would last for nearly 10 years.  Standing on a bridge that went over the Red River and a road, I could not decide which place would ensure death.  I was trying to calculate my best odds for success when the song, "I Care" began playing in my head.  Soon, I had Merle singing, "Sing me back home."  I had a chorus of songs that brought me down off the bridge and all the way to a phone booth.  Yes, they did have phone booths back then.



The miracle that is my life exists because this amazing group of artists from the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s Country Music sang to me.  They were the friends that never left.  They were my miracle, and still today, they remain my source of peace, joy, and serenity.  God reaches me through their words and their music.  And I can't hug their neck, but I can publicly say, Thank you!

And for the record, no one can fill their shoes for me.  I wish I could list them all.  I wish I could explain how my heart feels.  So much love, and so much sadness.  George, I hope you are there with them all pickin and grinnin.   And I hope my daddy is dancing away!

PHOTO CONTEST

Creations by Valorie 

In an attempt to get color inspiration, as well as inspiration for others, Creations by Valorie is hosting a photo contest.  You can use any pattern from http://www.ravelry.com/stores/creations-by-valorie that you want to use if you crochet.   If you knit (knitters ONLY), you can use any knit pattern from Snappy Tots, http://www.ravelry.com/stores/snappy-tots-3.   If you Felt, you may submit any photo of your work.  You can submit something you have already made as well.
It does need to have more than one color OR multiple shades of the same color.

Entries are to be emailed to valorie30@gmail.com.  They must be submitted by May 27th.   All entries will be posted on the page as they are received.

Once all entries are received, the photos will be posted in a new blog post.   At this time, all fans may vote for their favorite by commenting on that post.  Voting will begin May 28th and close May 31st.
All winners will be announced at some point June 1st.

There will be three winners for each category (Crochet, Knit, Felt):
1st winner from # of votes.
2nd winner chosen by the owner of Zebisis Designs
3rd winner chosen by my husband (who hates all things fibery).

The first winner will get a $20 gift certificate to Creations by Valorie.
The second winner will win a $20 gift certificate to Zebisis Designs, https://www.etsy.com/shop/zebisisdesigns.
The third winner will win a $20 gift card to WEBS, http://www.yarn.com/

So, Lets get some color going!!!!!

Good luck everyone!